Just call me Angel, every morning Angel...

Today, sitting in Audi 09 of PVR at Forum Bengaluru, and watching Saif bowling all so cheesy comments at Kareena (which she was actually batting to... and surprisingly well enough), I wondered what does a guy need to do in order to woo a girl. About 3 years ago, I had posted “How to look at a guy in 8 ways!” and had got good enough queries from all my friends of not so fair gender for delivering a KT session (knowledge transition – a famous term in the IT sector). After lots and lots of pondering, even after having a “Girls are NOT dumb” kind of session with Apoorv, I never was able to actually figure out a good and well planned manner that one can execute? Probably because I have never ever felt like wooing a girl and also never got a chance to break hearts. I can never bring up a plan guaranteeing a 100% success like the one of SRK – “6 din and ladki in”! (Ohh well I had to mention KHNH, after all it was a KJo movie that triggered this thought process, and well all KJo movies are usually kind of cheesy)!

Looking around I find all my friends, some in knee deep and some in above the danger level ocean of mushy gushy love. And in fact not just me, even if you pause for a second and look around you, you’ll definitely find the life size couples from Eric Seagal’s Love Story or to relate it to the today’s junta Chetan Bhagat’s 2 states (I hear people are relating it to their very own lives and love lives). Anyways, coming back to the topic, when I go through the ways in which the couples around me came together, I do find a variety and an inconsistency in the behaviours. But again, there are actually some things absolutely common and so to be on a safer side and also to maintain your interest in the post, I will list them down here.

1. One Love - Tell her that she is the only one and is always going to be. No ogling, bird watching or checking out the other specimens.
2. She is the angel, your darling angel – Remind her that daily, every morning and every night.
3. No chiggy wiggy here – She definitely wants you to be her charming prince, her knight in shining armour. Don’t let her feel as if it is just a fling or else you gonna pay big time (of course I’m talking about the shopping expenses).
4. No cheese or muffin (basically anything high in calories) please – Girls hate that. You don’t ask them for a band aid and then tell them that you fell for them the moment you saw them... it sucks.
5. High maintenance always – You do need to invest, if not money then time for sure. Some would want both while some would be satisfied with either, but then again no pain no gain.
6. Happy B’day my love – Never, never ever forget the Birthday... tie a knot in your handkerchief, enter a reminder in your cellphone or make your sister remind you, but do not in any case - not even in 2012, forget the day she came down on earth and that too just for you.

All this and I’m sure you will be able to sail through the whole Pacific Ocean yourself. I’m no Hitch and I definitely don’t host the Ugly Truth, so don’t run and come to me for any advice in case anything goes wrong... which I’m sure will definitely do (it always does)... just learn from your mistakes and try never repeating them again.

Love...

Sarah Jessica Parker had to think about the three dots that follow this word but unlike her, this special four-letter word is still a mystery to me. It is something that I dread something that I am scared of, something I get nightmares of... and hey-hey do I hear you say Freak!! Well whatever you may call me the truth is that it sure is intimidating.

What the heck is love? Why does it make such a difference if you are not into it? When will people stop telling you that it is the most important part of your life? How do you tell them to stop doing that? Who is there who never ever speaks about it? Where should I go to find answers to all of these?

See for yourself the effect of this lunatic thing on my sane state of mind. A thing which can bring out all 6 words of question (What-Why-When-How-Who-Where) at the same time. I am surprised at the way people behave when they are in it. I can not understand when they say it makes you blind and your heart is not in your control. If it actually does all that then isn't it a disease and one should eradicate it from scratch? Then why in the sweet name of Lord people don't find a vaccination for it?

All this and I guess I already know the answer to this. I muse over the fact that I have known the answer about all this crap since the very start. It is because we have been born with it as an inbuilt defect in our system. You can try a lot to shake it away and tear it apart from yourself but you see you can not.

Now, I know this that this post of mine will be branded stupid, naive, amateurish and many more things. People might even argue over it. But as always I don't care. I don't give a damn to what people think. You see, after a long long time I got something to write about and I couldn't have given away the chance to write. Not even after spending 10 tiring hours at office. Thanks to Carrie Bradshaw, Charlotte York, Miranda Hobbes and Samantha Jones to bring me back.

So it is L.O.V.E and what do I hear goodfellas - L is for the way you Look at me... music notes...

From Chaudhary to Hattori

Couple of weeks back I was visiting my uncle’s family in Pune. With my mind pretty much made up to enjoy the 3 day long weekend. The laziness had taken over me completely.

There seemed nothing much better than lying on the couch, with TV remote in one hand – lazily switching between the channels and a large mug of hot cocoa in another. While abiding by my pledge to chill out, I was moodily surfing through the various channels. Well, honestly it was more of button pressing and less of interest in shows. I then encountered "Mahabharat" (the old one, the one with "Main Samay hoon..." and not the shit that Ekta Kapoor is serving the Indian audience these days). Apparently, Fox History has taken interest in airing the age old TV Show. It used to be one of the shows that kept me glued before the TV screen during the childhood days. I never used to miss even one single instance of it… starting from the chants of the Bhagwad Geeta shloka – “Yada yada hi dharmasya…” to the end of the casting display. So it was but obvious that my finger stopped pressing those buttons. I sat there enthralled and excited. Though in the times like nowadays, those TV shows look stupid with age-old animation techniques, weird makeup and fancy dresses, but I still found my eyes stuck at the screen.

Either I was so intently watching the saga or my kid cousin is so expert in tip toeing her way through her scattered toys that I didn’t realize that she was just standing next to my ear. I here give her all the credit for having such mighty screaming voice that can tear away something inside one’s head totally apart. She screamed and screamed and screamed till I switched off the TV and looked at her in complete despair. Alas! Her screams continued. And when I was looking at her with an “Oh 2-year old… please tell me what you wish for… I would die fulfilling thy wish” kind of an expression, my aunt came to my rescue and familiarized me with the mannerisms of the self-imposed most important being in the family – my cousin (yes the 2 year old who converses in her own gibberish, thinks she can break the wall with her little fist, the toy breaker etc. etc… phew I can’t stop at listing her qualities… and before anyone of you points your accusing finger at me, let me clarify that I loved each one of the little tyke’s tantrums). Anyways, the point was that it was time for her favorite cartoon show and I was not letting her watch that (At that time… with a split headache I so deeply wished that Oh Lord, please give the power to converse to each and every child as soon as they are born… please).

It turned out that the show was “Ninja Hathodi”. I don’t know about you guys, but it was the first time I ever heard of this show and found the name quite amusing. Had heard of Ninja Turtles and as far as I could figure it out “Hathodi” was a word of Hindi language that meant Hammer. I couldn’t make out head or tail of what was going on. After Googling about it a bit, I realized it was not “Hathodi” but Hattori. The actuality of the show is some what this:

“10-year old Ken (Ken'ichi) Mitsoba is an average kid who goes to elementary school, and struggles with his studies. Meanwhile from ninja land aka Land of the Ninjas, a little ninja named Kanzo Hattori comes, and befriends Ken'ichi. Hattori is now a part of the mitsoba family along with his brother Shinzou, and his ninja dog, Shishi-Maru. Hattori helps Ken'ichi with his problems, and constantly keeps an eye on him, as a good friend” – Taken from Wikipedia

“Amusing things, kids watch these days” was the first thought and then I was zig zagging amongst the favorite comic and cartoon characters of my childhood days – Chacha Chaudhary, Pinky, Billu, Naagraj, Super Commando Dhruv, Ducktales, Talespin, Mickey, Tom n Jerry… but then all of them are amusing too. My parents would have thought the same thing about what I used to watch and I guess I too must have given them similar headaches quite many times. There are new names now – Hattori, Pikachu, Ben 10, Richie Rich, Popeyye, Naruto, Xiaolin and list continues.

Old are the days, but similar are the ways. The Gen Y (I am not sure but I think that is what the kids these days are called after the era when we were termed as Gen X) is busy whiling away time on the TV, Computer and Xboxes. One of my 7-year old cousin (yes, yes… I have lots of kid cousins) did not know what are games like “Ice-Water”, “Nadi-Pahad”, “Help”, “Chain” etc. I was aghast by his response; these were the games we loved in our primary school days.

Phew… after reading all this cribbing from start to this point, I feel like a old grown granny of some sort. NO… NO… what the heck happened… where did I loose my sanity? I guess I am still sane… the only problem was that it does give a feeling of growing old when one reminisces about the personal childhood favorites, as they are now extinct and no kid talks about them. They have new things to muse over and pass their time with.