Not meant to be.

It is when you sigh, oh so deeply, that I realize that you are standing right beside me and that we are not one and the same. You are not a part of me, at least not anymore. I start feeling the sensation of the touch that your hand is leaving on my hand. I don’t remember when we started doing it, but along the time, holding hands has become essential. It looks like it is what we do to connect to each other. One of the palms supporting the other and the ten fingers entwining into each other. I don’t remember how long we have been standing like this, looking at the horizon, wondering why don’t the sky and the earth actually meet at a point, why do they just give us an impression of it?

I drift back again to the day I had first met you. I had found you so adorable in that black shirt and blue jeans. Although it wasn’t love at first sight but still our story started then onwards, if I can call it a story at all. The length of it is so short that it can probably qualify as a fable, a fable that someday I might narrate to my son and daughter. He would idolize you, and she would dream about you. Coming back to the day you saw me, not the same day as I saw you. I can only take your word for it that you found me cute. But I know it was not the cuteness in me that brought you towards me, it was the cuteness that I found in you that made you cross the room and gaze into my eyes. I remember each of the sentences you have used since then to tease me, to irritate me or to make me happy distinctly. I remember every compliment that you have given me, or everything that you said you didn’t like about me.

It was never friendship, it was always this strange peculiar attraction to each other, the completeness we found with each other. It was all complimentary and not supplementary. The presence or absence of others was not of matter to me anymore. It was you who made the clock tick. Even then I knew that our paths are different. This is just the crossroads at which we happened to bump into each other. From here, you have to travel East and I’ve to lead my life towards West. But still those moments that we spent together, those discussions, those arguments weighed even more than combined mushiness of my previous relationships.

Today when I’ve to leave, leave this place and travel away from you, I feel this sinking sensation which is draining away all the warmth you had provided to my cold heart. But I can’t stop it and patch the hole that is coming into existence. You now look down into my eyes. Your deep brown eyes, they don’t ask me a question, and neither do they answer anything. I listen your heartbeat through them. I wish we could stay back for some more time and I could swim some more into those eyes, the ones that now have my eyes locked in a consistent gaze. But all I do is lean my head on your shoulder one last time and my heart whispers, “We were never meant to be.” and then you sigh again.

Desire

When the rain does splatter,
When the drops pitter-patter,
Take me away to a place,
Where no one will ever matter.

How I had wished to be alone,
Neither a whisper nor a moan,
Farther and farther than a milestone,
Where bonds the sun, earth and horizon.

But those inside my head, the demons,
Of treachery and prohibited legions,
Tie me to the past and the present,
For future they have no reasons.

All I desire is to break strings that bind me,
Finish the spider and web that accompany.
All I desire is to sprout wings and fly high,
Reach where the orange colors the blue sky.

Just call me Angel, every morning Angel...

Today, sitting in Audi 09 of PVR at Forum Bengaluru, and watching Saif bowling all so cheesy comments at Kareena (which she was actually batting to... and surprisingly well enough), I wondered what does a guy need to do in order to woo a girl. About 3 years ago, I had posted “How to look at a guy in 8 ways!” and had got good enough queries from all my friends of not so fair gender for delivering a KT session (knowledge transition – a famous term in the IT sector). After lots and lots of pondering, even after having a “Girls are NOT dumb” kind of session with Apoorv, I never was able to actually figure out a good and well planned manner that one can execute? Probably because I have never ever felt like wooing a girl and also never got a chance to break hearts. I can never bring up a plan guaranteeing a 100% success like the one of SRK – “6 din and ladki in”! (Ohh well I had to mention KHNH, after all it was a KJo movie that triggered this thought process, and well all KJo movies are usually kind of cheesy)!

Looking around I find all my friends, some in knee deep and some in above the danger level ocean of mushy gushy love. And in fact not just me, even if you pause for a second and look around you, you’ll definitely find the life size couples from Eric Seagal’s Love Story or to relate it to the today’s junta Chetan Bhagat’s 2 states (I hear people are relating it to their very own lives and love lives). Anyways, coming back to the topic, when I go through the ways in which the couples around me came together, I do find a variety and an inconsistency in the behaviours. But again, there are actually some things absolutely common and so to be on a safer side and also to maintain your interest in the post, I will list them down here.

1. One Love - Tell her that she is the only one and is always going to be. No ogling, bird watching or checking out the other specimens.
2. She is the angel, your darling angel – Remind her that daily, every morning and every night.
3. No chiggy wiggy here – She definitely wants you to be her charming prince, her knight in shining armour. Don’t let her feel as if it is just a fling or else you gonna pay big time (of course I’m talking about the shopping expenses).
4. No cheese or muffin (basically anything high in calories) please – Girls hate that. You don’t ask them for a band aid and then tell them that you fell for them the moment you saw them... it sucks.
5. High maintenance always – You do need to invest, if not money then time for sure. Some would want both while some would be satisfied with either, but then again no pain no gain.
6. Happy B’day my love – Never, never ever forget the Birthday... tie a knot in your handkerchief, enter a reminder in your cellphone or make your sister remind you, but do not in any case - not even in 2012, forget the day she came down on earth and that too just for you.

All this and I’m sure you will be able to sail through the whole Pacific Ocean yourself. I’m no Hitch and I definitely don’t host the Ugly Truth, so don’t run and come to me for any advice in case anything goes wrong... which I’m sure will definitely do (it always does)... just learn from your mistakes and try never repeating them again.